So who’s trying to control who?

August 23, 2010

The group makes the point that some dictates of anti-porn and anti-sex-work feminists go against the right of sexual autonomy and that opposing legalization of prostitution is a moralist, illogical stance.

This rant is punchy and well argued. But I found it quite depressing for a number of reasons:

  1. The reliance on an emotive attack reminds me of why the community is so fragmented and leaves me with a sense of hopelessness. Everything becomes so personal that eventually the community gets splintered into smaller and smaller warring factions.
  2. The video didn’t make it clear that there are many feminists that support legalisation and who support porn. So this is fuel for the ongoing “feminism is responsible for everything wrong in the world” belief.
  3. While I support legalization and the protection it will bring to those with choices, us Lion City residents know all too well it is not the panacea suggested. Here in Singapore where prostitution is legal we just got bumped up on the list of countries with trafficking problems. The fact is there is way more demand than supply, legal or not. Trafficking will continue as surplus demand is met by the black market.

Virgin Again

August 21, 2010

Dan Savage is usually right on but he seems to have missed the boat a bit on this one. A woman asks is it “un-feminist” of her to lie about her lost virginity.

Ridiculing the questioner is a complete failure to recognize the fucked up culture women live in where they are categorized as either sluts or virgins.

Yes perhaps she should grow a pair and stop picking dickheads who have this world view… But then, depending where you live, this could result in celibacy or cutting your options considerably.

Yes a feminist doesn’t have to apologize for not being a virgin or, for that matter, for being one.

But let’s acknowledge that this world is, for the most part, not populated with feminists and the predominant culture imposes a false dichotomy which hurts women.

Not everyone has the confidence to navigate that minefield in style.